Choosing A Word

It has been a tradition the past few years to choose a word that highlights a character trait I hope to embody for the year and one at the end of the year in reflection. Going into 2017, I chose the word Generosity. It was my desire for this year to reflect a generous spirit in giving of time & money. I learned generosity this year in what it means to be a wife to Ben and serve him; and especially what it looks like for Ben and I to be generous as a couple – giving of our home, space, and resources to others. We still have a lot to learn in this regard (Ben teaches me more about generosity every day!) – but I know this is definitely an area of growth in 2017 with learning to tithe to our church regularly, serve our community, and give to ministries that we feel passionate about supporting.

Reflecting back on the year, my word to describe the year is Joy. From getting married to embracing honeymoon bliss to date nights and weekends away and establishing our home together… being hired as a professor for the first time and finishing my thesis and– most of all – finding out we are pregnant and due in June! Telling our family and friends has been the biggest joy of all!

Going into 2018, I know this year will be a year of Change. It will be an adjustment for us to be a family of three, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly terrified of the sleepless nights, spit-up, diapers, breastfeeding, and endless crying. Mom Life is something I have never done with my own child before! While the logical part of me knows that it is instinctual to keep a baby alive; part of me wants to have it all figured out and perfected before the baby is born (impossible, I know…).

This year will bring other changes such as family moving, another little cousin baby birth, possibly scouting out a new home… but in all these things God is constant. I remember that change is part of the journey of forming identity. In all things, God has equipped me for the road ahead. I know that I will have moments of freak-out-and-breakdown in the transition (thankfully, Ben has already sat by my side through a few of these…) – but I don’t have to be flawless, gracious, and perfect. I am learning to accept each feeling and experience as who I am, instead of altering it with the “should’s and could’s.” Fear is normal, and the only way for courage to be fully lived. Too often I choose my fear instead of my faith.

We are finally part of a church we love, have developed deep and meaningful friendships, and are moving forward into “the family years.” It has already been quite a whirlwind these past two years from moving to CA, dating Ben, engagement, marriage… and now 2018 brings the next season! We have 6 months left of Ben & Rebecca Knisely before we are Ben & Rebecca & Baby Boy Knisely… the best is yet to come! Here we go...!