in Truth.

"Two things You told me

You are strong

and You love me"

:: Jon Foreman

Sometimes 

all it takes 

is simple Truth 

to get you 

through the day.

{via: papertissue}

It's Been Good.

Something rare and interesting came over me this weekend: I wanted to watch a movie I didn't own.

So naturally (in my stuck-in-the-90's-brain...?), I think: rental at Blockbuster.

Motivated and inspired by my dedication to film, I walked in and immediately spotted my vid of choice. Case in hand, I marched to the counter and surprised by my swiftness, I carefully placed my treasure down at the checkout. Even though it's been a few years (6-ish?), I assuredly recited my phone number, convinced they still had my name on file - a quick look-up and I'd be on my way, yes? 

... Nope.

40 mins later: I'm the proud new owner of a Blockbuster card, a free month of online movies (???), free pre-watched DVD, free rental, and 4 movies for $20. The cause of such glory: the news I've obviously been out of touch with the past 6 months - and the glaring yellow Out of Business signs I only slightly read in the windows... the last and final shutdown of Blockbusters everywhere, and with such - my childhood.

I will sell this Collector's Item on Ebay for a lot of money someday. With or without Blockbuster's logo...

I felt comforted sharing this moment with my faithful Blockbuster checkout helper, Jerry, who clearly understood my grief. As I gave voice to each significant rental experience, Jerry's thoughtful concern via Blockbuster badge signaled I had a place of sharing there. He brought a sliver of hope to my situation, assuring me that at least I snuck in my last possible rental experience before it was lost and gone forever? It's true. I diligently recorded every detail in the vault of my memory, preparing to recite the ancient plight of a Renter to my children someday. Concluding our time together with a high-five, I was on my way with my prized new items and a new respect for the rental deadline.

Clearly excited about my new free purchases.

I guess you can never assume that what you had will always be there.  Before we know it, books are out of print and computers feel outdated.  My generation will be walking history of an era that traced the path of "going digital." - The generation that saw it through, adapted as it went, and fueled brain power for even further developments.

Oh Blockbuster, other people (Netflixers) might not miss you, but I will. 

Cheers to all the good times and thank you for allowing me one last successful visit.

Gramps.

After years in sunny Cali, Gramps has moved back to Chi - (in the coldest darkest days of the winter, of course).

Though he can't always hear you and doesn't always remain in conversation, I know there's a soundtrack of life running through his head. A silent nostalgia. Thinking and remembering and feeling the conversation, through the unspoken words.

A few weeks ago, he shared a few stories of my Grandma Win, who passed away before I was born. As her living namesake, I will always feel a special connection to her... so these memories were especially endearing to me. He spoke about their dating times, their adventurous moments, their glimpses of perfect harmony in the world. The pictures slowly formed in my head as he pieced together this life from years ago - my grandpa as a young 20, exploring the world and falling in love.  The reality of these memories surfaced with each tear in his eye... Grandpa will always be connected to the life he once lived, no matter what it may look like now.

I have a real desire to do that someday.

To know you've lived the story, shared life, and truly embraced each season. Sometimes I fool myself thinking this is as good as it gets - 24 (1/2) and single and ongoing city excitement. But my gramps would say differently - it only gets better from here. I'll choose to believe it.

Survival Mode.

Roomies + tapas. Neighborhood walk. 

Used Bookstore exploration.

It's mid-Feb and very cold.
(minus the 40 degree heat wave we've had the past few days...)

Wrapped in my puffer, hands clenched in gloves, scarf and hat tied so tightly I can barely see... every.day... it's easy to feel like Blah. Frump. Ick.

So my motto has been "make it to March."

But then I realized - I don't want to live like that. Waiting for the next best thing. Waiting for a season to pass and time to be over. I want to enjoy now. I feel my life becoming this reel of surviving... I don't want to just barely survive, I want to enjoy. But is that possible in the dead of winter?

Winter means it's easy to stay inside, create routine, and maintain a life that lacks contact with any other human. But it's when you extend yourself beyond the "normal" and challenge your day to be mixed-up in a unique way that begins a perspective of delight instead of despair. I look for simple moments that bring me joy - anything to give me hope that the day-to-day doesn't have to be so completely effected by cold.

A special coffee I normally don't order, a new pilates studio, an interesting conversation with a stranger, wearing lipstick & perfume, cooking something special, exploring a new hobby, taking photos in snow, asking the local bar to play The Bachelor... ;) Whatever it takes for that day to feel balanced and healthy and peaceful and happy - even when it seems simple - creates meaning for me. When weather makes life seem gray and dull, we can choose to feel that way. Or, we can embrace a day that is filled with moments waiting to bring us joy.

Playing with these dearies = joy & refreshment.

I would love to know: What are the simple things you indulge in to survive winter? What brings celebration instead of dread to the longest, coldest months of the year? 

Great White North.

There's nothing like heading out to the middle of a frozen lake post-blizzard, chatting with ice fishers as we step into their ice lodge, buying tickets to the meat auction at the local fish weigh-in, and shutting down the dive Bar & Grrrr.

Really, though. Could it get any better? 

Conquering.

My Whity. Cheers.

Brave & Fearless leader.

Ice hut. Spying on fish. This.is.real.

Sustenance.

Pioneering the great white.

"If you fall, you won't breathe another breath."

American Legion. Fish weigh-in. Alllmost won the gun auction.

8ball - corner pocket.

dance off.

bullseye.

Oh Wisconsin... Thank you for never being a disappointment.

Blizz'ed.

snowy city lily.

snowed-in porch.

bye bye car. and parkable streets.

oh hey neighb.

snow day & cam fun.

abandoned southport. apocalypse??

no newspapers today.

perfect day for a redbox.

walk to jewel on a chiliiii run. yummm.

My days consist of navigating snow trenches and ice patches and unplowed sidewalks.

It's all worth it for the snow day(s).

Unnoticed.

My adventurous little dearheart Suzy is across the Atlantic as a postgrad at University of Glasgow this year studying all things brilliant, and sent me this link the other day:



The thing that struck me most about this mysterious photographer - a native to my precious homecity - is that her work was done completely for the love of her art.  She didn't have a public domain that showcased her photos, she didn't have access to facebook to post her most recent shoots, or tweet about her last glimpse of beauty.  Instead, she slipped completely under the radar, engaging in her passion to satisfy her own personal interest.

With a culture focused on online streaming and sharing, it's hard to be an artist without an intent to be noticed in a public venue.  In a way, the accessibility of online life has opened doors of creativity, connecting interests and inspiring minds towards what's unique....  But in another sense, a screen-focused audience has stolen the integrity of art.  What is the intent behind the artist? To be noticed? Or to do art simply because they can't live without it?

We all have a bit to learn from dear Viv - When was the last time you did something beautiful and wonderful and kept it just to yourself? I hope to delight in a life apart from my online presence - living in a way that art may be exposed from my life, not a life lived for the purpose of exposure.

Halfway There.

Halfway to 25.

And life is good.

Lily Happenings

Though we LOVE our vintage and unique little kitchen, it does not lend itself well to counter space and cooking.  So, we took matters into our own hands.  With a little help (read: a LOT of help) from Betsy's boyf Michael, kitchen life is transformed with an industrial-esque bar. Next step: upholstering the stools with burlap coffee bags...

(We're hoping to use Snow Day as DIY Day Part 2... We still have a long list to tackle!)

brilliant bar-building in progress.

Other news: Yesterday after work I was greeted with celebratory gummies and a note.  As a non-salary freelancer herself, Betsy understands the draining day-to-day question of "Will I have a job next year?"  So when I told her I was offered the full-time Kindergarten job at CHA next year, she had nothing but excitement for me, which made it that much more real.  I felt so honored to return to celebration and smiles, homemade cookies, and hugs from roomies.

It's still sinking in- Living in the city, teaching in the city... my fave grade at a school I never want to leave... What an unexpected life blessing!  I never could've seen my life here a few years ago... but that's the adventure this life is. Unpredictable twists and turns, that end up good when you say Yes to the surprises.

This job is so ME. And that's what I love.

The key to my heart is through gummies.

Cozy Up!

The magic of snow days has returned!!!!

My preschoolers acting out our winter story: The Mitten

There's something about severe weather that gives a heightened excitement to the city. It's like a surprise Christmas - a little gift you weren't expecting - and then realize how much it was needed.  

Suddenly the idea of power outage, jammies, candles, and camping in our cozy lily has become verrrry appealing.  We have lots of goodies - cookies, banana bread, cinnamon bun coffee - and plenty of movies to last us through the storm!  

And it's definitely comforting to know you can't even go outside if you triiiied.