Seeds in Fall

"But as I explore autumn's paradox of dying and seeding, I feel the power of metaphor. In the autumnal events of my own experience, I am easily fixated on surface appearances - on the decline of meaning, the decay of relationships, the death of a work. And yet if I look more deeply, I may see the myriad possibilities being planted to bear fruit in some season yet to come…. This hopeful notion that living is hidden within dying is surely enhanced by the visual glories of autumn."

:: Parker Palmer

:: Let Your Life Speak

{ Waupaca, WI : 2013 }

While I often view autumn as the time in which life is put to death, I am reminded that in the prospect of death there is the hope of new life. It is in this season that I reflect on the possibilities turned down, the doors closed, and the relationships lost that opened up space for another plan to be brought forth. I discern now what I could not see at the time - that there was meaning in my ideas not working and how it made space for other experiences to surface. Daily dying to this truth is the precursor to new life. In autumn, seeds are sown even when giving the appearance of death.

"But when I yield to the endless interplay of living and dying, dying and living, the life I am given will be real and colorful, fruitful and whole."

:: Palmer

Kairos

Here in the third largest city in the U.S, often time takes on the form of schedules, routines, appointments, and is lived in increments of to-do's. It is not until a city escape to the woods of Wisconsin that time slows down from the rushed & hurried patterns of Chicago and the idea of Rest can be fully embraced in clear air, acres of land, and chats over a fire.

Open land, open sky

Fireside days

Too often we forget that success is not measured by efficiency, tasks, and individualism. Constantly aware of the minutes and seconds, we define time by workweeks and weekends so that it slowly drains our soul. Immersed in the fast-paced, never-enough-time train of thought, I forget that Jesus offers a contrasting view of time. An idea of time focused on relationships from the biblical word kairos, focuses instead on the opportunity for significant event. In the chronos view of time also mentioned in the Bible, time is reduced to segments and sequences dedicated to specific lists. It is no surprise that kairos is used twice as often in the New Testament, pointing to life as memorable moments apart from schedules and priorities.

Flannel on flannel

Not WI without Spotted Cow...

Being together.

Kairos means to be together and enjoy life with the people you love. 

This past weekend was one lived in kairos. Time moved slowly, gradually, and relationally. Discussions about the definition of the soul and human purpose over the fire... eggs & bacon when the sun comes up, looking up at the stars, flannel-clad cuddling, and four-wheeling interspersed with games of flag football is a weekend defined by kairos. Kairos means laying on blankets in the sun surrounded by the changing colors of the trees & porch-sitting in rocking chairs, sipping coffee, and watching the rain. 

We walk away from this weekend invigorated towards life in community and refreshed by simply being together. It's true: we were designed for kairos. 

Blankets in the sun... Rest.

As someone naturally wired towards success in the zone of academics, I have trained my School Self to be about tasks and papers and projects and presentations. But I must remember that this time is a gift, and if life is about people then my time must reflect that value. Being together in slow moving time gives the brain rest to focus and work. 

Play, Work, and Rest work together... that is how true kairos is lived.

[ ... and a few rounds of Fireball followed by a dance party never hurt either... ]

As given spirit animals for the weekend, here is Britt's frisky pony

{ all photos taken on 35mm film on the Diana Mini }

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes 
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes,
because each has been sent 
as a guide from beyond.

:: Rumi "The Guest House"

To live authentically is to welcome the unwanted.
Instead of shaming, it's celebrating.
Instead of hiding, it's exposing.
It's difficult. It's vulnerable. But is there any other way to fully live?!

Midwest At Heart

As if we have never driven across the cornfields of windmills here in the Midwest, Ash and I eagerly hopped in the car on Saturday with playlists, snacks, and GPS destination: Dayton, OH. While I dream of the west coast or islands of Spain, it is here in the heart of America - the dear Midwest - that I sense a beckoning feeling of graceful Return. After stopping at a classic diner for grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup, Ash and I knew this weekend would be branded with everything characteristic of our home in the Midwest.

City escape.

Diner stop.

With its flag-adorned front porches, high school letter jackets, and neighborly hello's from fellow-dog-walkers, Dayton is truly Americana suburbia at its finest. And there is a comforting err of nostalgia that comes with the slowed pace watched from the swing of a home. Exploring coffee shops tucked away from the rain with a mug of coffee and my best friends is a beautiful way to spend a weekend.

I want this swing.

Rainy walks.

Sampson and I are learning to be friends.

Often when friends visit, the misconception is that there must exist an itinerary of Really Cool Stuff to make the destination as Awesome As Possible. But with Jenny, it is a refreshment, joy, and adventure from merely being together. Whether it's giving Sampson a bath after splashing in mud and a rainy walk, or making dinner and cuddling to a movie, or simply sleeping in and eating cereal in our pajamas, the delight comes from heart talks and laughter and Real Life. It comes in the regular activities of day-to-day as we walk life side-by-side.

I was once told that the mark of deep friendship is someone you simply want to grocery shop with. Jenny's free-spirit, deep love for life and people, and easygoing nature make her one of the best companions, the one I want to grocery shop with (especially at her favorite local market!), and a true gift. The reality of life is that most of it is actually pretty boring; the adventure comes when life is lived alongside someone else.

I mean... the color of this wall!

{ Adventures can also come through margs and city life in Cinci!}

Obviously loving these streets of the Midwest.

 I return thankful for the reminder of transparent and authentic friendship from a weekend escape to the streets of Ohio explored alongside my two best partners in crime.

Love you forever Jenny B!