Go.

I am a Chicagoan in the truest part of my roots, but there is one thing I've grown to detest to the core while living here. One thing that I never could've foreseen from the outside looking in, and had no roadmap for navigating until I dug down and planted some roots in these streets I call home.

Over and over again I hear the repetitive mantra of Chicagoans hating the winter and wanting to flee this city in those five bone-chilling months. I hear talk of sunny California or milder climates or "I would stay if it wasn't for the weather..." 

But for all the reasons I am in love with Chicago, certainly the cold cannot blur out the best.

It's not February or the traffic or the CTA delays or even the hard-headed-get-what-I-want attitude that develops somewhere in the midst of it all. As the third largest city in the US, the culture and nature of city-living is just this: Transient. Maybe it's purely definitive of life in the 20's, or being "young and mobile with the whole world in front of you...," but I've partnered with other age groups spanning the generations, and I can't say it is wholly subject to my stage as a single 26 year-old. As a teacher, I can trace the pattern in city families, who after a few years burn-out from carting their littles in & out of alleyways and jet out to the suburbs or to the greater Midwest... greener backyards and a more livable lifestyle calling them elsewhere. 

Chicago friends & Donuts.

It's Chicago. 

Even the "tied-down" are loosely tied, and the young&free are wired to search for broader horizons in the window of just a few years.

Beach days with this girl are some of the best.

You see, three years ago I met a music-loving, hard-working, coffee-snobbing;), soul-searching friend that I have grown to love like a sister. We met through a series of unplanned circumstances (is there any other way to meet...?) and she was the first friend I made on my own outside of roommates. Although I had many acquaintances a few months into city-living, there's something about a First Real Friend that bonds you forever. At the time, we pretended we were grown-ups as we just started lives in the big city. But when we look back, we both know we were merely kids back in 2010... completely blindsided by the way God would grow us individually and together. 

Summer nights with Sonja.

And we did - we grew up together these past few years. We shared rooftop parties, patio drinks, and a unique church community; we modeled in a freezing photoshoot in the middle of snowy woods; we hunkered down and ate soup and cried over boys; we camped in rural Wisconsin in the pouring rain; we explored dive venues for new music and danced and sang away the night; we ate burgers and won trivia matches with my brothers; we wrestled with God and jobs and direction and what the point of it all is. We upheld one another at the worst, and celebrated with each other during the best. The three years I have lived in Chi, I have only known with Sonja walking right beside me. She was the phone call, she was the one I would show up in sweatpants and a high-bun, she knew where I had been and where I was going. She taught me to dream outside of the Kindergarten classroom, and encouraged me to risk the unknown and pursue a degree in graduate school.

This restaurant that Sonja has poured her heart & soul into from the wee hours of the morning into the latest of the night.
Little Goat is forever changed by the tireless love of Sonja.

Bidding farewell on the rooftop of the Goat.

And now, as all young vagabonds who move to Chicago do, she leaves for the west coast. The inevitable time to return to her beloved roots has come, and I will miss her from the depths of my heart. I am thankful for living these last three weeks side-by-side as she chose the Lily couch over the air mattress, woke up with fresh coffee in her chemex, and left Little Goat treats on our counter in the late hours of the night when she returned from work. We both knew that the days counted down, but were sustained by the city adventures we planned ahead. 

Little Sonja-isms left in our kitchen.

Photobooth fail.

This girl. Her heart for others and God astounds me and has challenged me to be the best me. 

As S moves on to her next phase of life, I have to keep building and loving and investing in the midst of transience that is Chicago. Because I wait in expectation for the day that Sonja and I will share a cup of coffee in her home city together as we chat new relationships, career moves, and life up's/down's. We will laugh and cry and rejoice as we recount what God has done since she moved. On that day, I will fully know that even as friends come & go here, there is something that is built together that cannot be taken back. We never know the road life will take; but I know we will look back and remember who we are in this moment and how we have grown into more of our truest selves to come.

She will miss this city.
This city will miss her.

Seattle can steal my friend, but it's only a city. 

A First Friend is Forever... and that is a gift.

Mountaintops

Driving in our family car... Good ol LC

Although I hate that Mikey lives so far away, I am thankful that the faraway place he resides is an awesome one.

headlamp on. ready for anything.

Home for the night.
< Photo cred: Michael >

This week, we backpacked and camped in the mountainous back country of Colorado, as Mikey led me to conquer my first 14,000 (eh hem... 14,060) foot mountain. We hiked in with our packs, set-up camp on a flat spot, and explored the grounds. After carelessly toppling into a non-aggressive creek on our preliminary hike, I was a bit wary of the next day's mountain before us. But, as we watched the sun go down behind Mt. Bierstadt to the dreamy tunes of the Oh Hello's, filling our stomachs with Trail Mix and playing endless rounds of gin rummy... I knew there was no other place I would rather be than right there in the valley of snowcapped beauty. Somehow that peak in the distance began to feel attainable... but not without some hard work to get there.

The only thing that got me up Bierstadt : morning French Press

We set out on the climb after back country breakfast (oatmeal & French press coffee), filled our bottles with creek water and purifying drops, and set out on the road before us. There were a thousand moments I wanted to give up as we inclined the final 2,000 feet above tree level - my mind wrestled with my physical ability, telling it to stop; it screamed at my aching legs and told it No - but I focused one step at a time, and eventually the peak was in view. As we summited Bierstadt, every hard-breathing, soul-tiring, back-aching step floated away into the panoramic scene set before my eyes: true and utter breathtaking beauty. 

Never underestimate a 14er... It was seriously hard work. But worth it? Absolutely. I got down from the mountain convinced I would never do such a thing again... and then after some pizza and beer, I reconsidered. 2014...? (we'll see.)

We did it!
< Photo cred: Michael >

I am reminded that although adventure is not contingent upon these mountaintop experiences, these also fuel my appetite for risk and increase my courage. The physical has to translate to the mental... giving up, stressing out, feeling overwhelmed is not an option because eventually you arrive, and the accomplishment defeats even the most painful process. The challenge of completing something set before me that seems ridiculously unattainable can be an addicting feeling. Which is why I can't stop here. In a few weeks, I will leave for my heart country of Spain with nothing but a change of clothes and hiking shoes with a bit of trepidation mixed with anxious excitement. And as I walk the 12+ miles daily on the Camino, I will be taken back to this moment in the mountains with Mikey. When I'm at wit's end and physically cannot see the goal, I will remember that nothing meaningful comes easy. I will remember His faithfulness and protection. I will remember that the process feels slow, but that it's worth it. I will remember that it is possible one.step.at.a.time.

Both Kinds

Teaching them kiddos how to travel at CHA Summer Camp.

One thing I love about adventures is that they can happen on the international-travel-climbing-a-mountain grand scale, or the local-frequently-visited-neighborhood-favorite small scale. All kinds of adventures are my kind of adventures- whether obvious in their appearance or not. Because it's not about what you're doing, it's about who you're doing it with... it's about personal meaning, memories, and coming alive. It's about a perspective you gain as you live one day to the next and settle into that delightful sweet spot of passion overflowing into what you're doing.

Dinner on the porch with lilies - past & present

Cubbies.  Still the worst in the league. Still the most fun to watch.

... and that's why I love summer so much. The mindset of Chicagoans during these blissful summer months is all about spontaneous happenstance in the most basic style. It takes the form of BBQ's after the beach, local street festivals, a rooftop soirée, Music Mondays at Millenium, backyard film projection, weekday brunches, coffeeshop biking, evening froyo strolls, or porch sitting with a book. And yes, I quantify every one of these moments as extraordinary.

Perusing a wall of Warby at Apartment 9 in WP.

Brunch at Milk & Honey

Purchased "The Art of Travel" at Myopic Books to set the tone for summer...

Only a few weeks into summer, and Chicago has not fell short of the life-giving moments I look forward to all school year. Whether it's Wicker Park exploration, cooking at home on Newport, or reading and people watching at North Ave beach, I consider it a privilege to live in this city with inspiring community who live boldly for adventure in whatever misshapen way it unfolds. 

Midnight donut exploration in honor of National Donut Day

Rewarded myself with a latte at Alterra in Milwaukee after running the half

Because this city lights up in these summer months, I am often reluctant to jet-set anywhere else but here. Isn't that what winter is for?! But I find my thirst for travel unquenched this year, a desire for new culture and scenery takes my mind away from here and set on other places. So, I am going to take advantage of this in-between break time away from the city because I know that diving into risks breeds faith and courage. 

Biked to Twin Anchors for beer, ribs, & Blackhawks... doesn't get better.

Soaking up some final sleepovers and beach days with Sonja before she leaves Chi :(

And so, the mountains of Colorado and a northern pilgrimage in Spain also bring adventures of the big kind this summer.

Here.we.go.

"If our lives are dominated by a search for happiness, then perhaps few activities reveal as much about the dynamics of this quest - in all its ardour and paradoxes - than our travels. They express, however inarticulately, an understanding of what life might be about, outside of the constraints of work and of the struggle for survival."

:: Alain de Bottom "The Art of Travel"

Running the Race

If you had told me a few years ago that I would be training and running my second half-marathon this year, I never would've believed it. In college, I could barely run around Baylor's Bear Trail of 2.3 miles, I avoided running alongside people, and I had zero interest in racing.

Arrival to Milwaukee on Friday

But there's something about a race that brings new attention to the process. Approaching the starting line, there's nothing more you can do to prepare for the race than what you've already done. What you bring that day matters, but it's the past three months that predict your ability for the next 13.1 miles.

Boom.

Running in Milwaukee yesterday reminded me that the path is marked out for you, but you still have the option how to go about it. My rising competitive drive midway through the race pumped adrenaline into my legs, causing me to speed up and meet my goal of 9:30/mile. Next time, I might just have to do a full...!

Compression socks... apparently the secret to preventing shin splints?? Who knew!

Goodbye Kindergarten

Another whole school year is over.... How does that seem to go so fast every year?!

These littles have brought so much JOY and wonder to my days. As much as I'm ready for summer, I can't help it that I will miss them! And knowing that I will not be returning to the classroom next year makes it that much harder to say goodbye. 

Class photo. I love these kids.

Last day all around.

It's bittersweet to transition into being a full-time student - I really don't know what to expect - but it's with anticipation and expectation that I leave this school year and run head-first into summer. (After this week of grading and in-services, that is...). 

Goodbye teaching Kindergarten, hello re-learning how to be a student. As always, the adventure is in the unknowns.

Around the Table

A few months ago, I received a mystery package in the mail containing a book I had been recently eyeing. After exhausting the list of all my mystery suspects, I accepted the gift as a crazy act of God. A few weeks later, I was on the phone with Mikey discussing food & community... how much of my life is centered around those 2 things. Only a brother would be so thoughtful as to send me a book without any semblance of knowledge of how much I love both this author and her latest read. So, in honor of Bread & Wine and Michael returning to Chicago for a week, I threw a dinner party in our backyard. Mango curry chicken, Christmas lights, fresh flowers, and a splash of wine (/ rum)... Community happens around the table and it is life-giving.

Friends and Food
My two favorite things

The best.

{photo cred: iphone by Todd}

"When you eat, I want you to think of God, of the holiness of hands that feed us, of the provision we are given every time we eat. When you eat bread and you drink wine, I want you to think about the body and the blood every time, not just when the bread and wine show up in church, but when they show up anywhere - on a picnic table or a hardwood floor or a beach. Some of my most sacred meals have been eaten out of travel mugs on camping trips or on benches on the street in Europe. Many of them have been at our own table or around our coffee table, leaning back against the couch. They've been high food and low food, fresh and frozen, extravagant and right out of the pizza box. It's about the table, and about all the other places we find ourselves eating. It's about a spirit or quality of living that rises up when we offer one another life itself, in the form of dinner or soup or breakfast, or bread and wine."

Shauna Niequist :: Bread & Wine