The Choices We Make

A common theme here is that time is running out; or time is speeding by; or time is simply too scarce. I have been challenged lately to consider what it means to make time for something vs. the excuse of "not having" time.

Spontaneous trip to Mexico for tacos on Friday :)

While the amount of hours in a day remain consistent, we choose how we prioritize each minute. Sometimes this means saying yes to the friend you haven't seen in a few weeks or agreeing to a group hangout, even when you feel tired or lack energy. It always seems worth it at the end of the day to say Yes to people you love.

Mexico... My dreamland

But there are other times that I know my own level of sanity and know that I need to say No... no matter how badly I want to say yes. I need to simply Be - with my thoughts and my wonderings - with the questions and goals and life plans - with a shower and early bedtime. The dance between Yes and No is how we demonstrate our values; it's how we show that what we say lines up with what we do - and it's in those decisions that our life plays out.

This place.... All the heart eyes.

One of the reasons I moved to San Diego is to be near the water... But I realized in those first few months of living here that life is still life - there were weeks when I didn't even see the ocean at all (exception: my drive to work...) I claimed I didn't have time or that life was too busy... But when it came down to it, my love for nature was simply not a priority. My new year's resolution was to make more time for beauty - and since the beginning of 2016 (& meeting Benjamin ;)) I can honestly say that I have enjoyed more sunsets and beach days and sandy strolls than ever before.

1000 Steps Beach

We truly do make time for the things that are important to us... and our choices each day reflect who we are; our attitude and values and level of importance. It seems that there is never the right time for the things we want to do - a thesis or relationship or traveling (or sleep...?!) - which is why we simply have to let life happen sometimes - prioritizing the things we love and making time for the things we don't always love.

Because we DO have the time, the question lies in how we use it.

Waiting for Beauty

After an eye-opening trip to Costco with Benjamin the other day, we loaded groceries and parted ways to meet at his home. Although I left a few minutes after him, I proudly waved my Finish Line banner as he pulled into the drive 5 minutes after me. Between stairs and unloading boxes, we chatted  regarding our drive home route. While I wove between lines of cars on the freeway, he took the classic Highway 101 - the epitome of California in every way, with the sun setting as he drove directly next to the ocean. Although I arrived faster, I had no report of ocean views or those soft sunset colors.

There's nothing like a drive home from Costco to highlight my efficiency-minded, on-the-go attitude towards life these days that trades beauty for rapid pace; that looks ahead at the horizon while passing by the ocean. I am so focused on achieving the victory and arriving at the destination that I miss the moments to invite beauty into my everyday life. I save the recognition of the Wonderful and the delight in the Lovely for vacations, the moments that give me no other choice but to marvel and be in God's creation. The addictive nature of travel is that we reserve the Away for recognition of beauty Here.

I am challenged to slow down my pace, breathe a little deeper, and perhaps choose the slower way home for glimpses of the waves. The option to pause at the ocean is one I want to receive as a gift this year, so that when I look back, I don't see the grind of the early morning commute or those sleepy struggling eyes, rather I remember sitting in the beauty offered to me each day and how those small, yet significant moments gave me a chance to return to what matters and be filled by God in order to direct my gaze towards Him.

One Thing I Am Learning

I've always had an idea of love - from the general musings of friends - that it's a daily choice; one to work for and try hard at, one that takes time and practice and discipline and intention. While there's no doubt all these angles are true- they have also slanted my idea of love. I have wondered and imagined what love might feel like - cringing at the idea of being forced to make such a difficult decision in life... hoping that maybe I would have the wisdom to make the right choice at the right time.

But when it comes to real love, the kind that comes when you see God alive in another human, the kind that gives without running out and challenges you to be better, I realize that "the choice" is not really a choice at all. It is more of a fact, a realization, a knowing. One that seems so obvious that to stand away from it would be denying truth itself.

In this way, I am now just beginning to peer over the surface of how deep God's love is for me... how unconditional and real and clear it is.

This is the evidence I know it's real... if it draws me deeper into Him, then that's the whole point.

How gracious and good of Him to give me this gift.