Skisteins 2019

Just when the sun began to peek its face and the weather carried a sense of dew again, we traded the San Diego beach for the Colorado mountains. Maybe because we grew-up skiing every year, or because Mikey/Jill/Rosie live there, but in a way Denver feels like a second home for the amount of time we have spent out there. It only feels natural to be heading out for a ski trip this time of year - it almost feels like summer can't come without it.

This year was different than all other years in the way of Babies. This mostly effected how much Ben and I were able to be on the mountain - and the fact that we couldn't be on the mountain together. We divided up into a Guys Ski and a Girls Ski, which actually worked to my advantage because I have an ongoing fear that I will get separated from the rest of the group and get accidentally taken down a back bowl. Jillian was basically my Ski Marm, I avidly followed her skiing expertise as she walked me through the lift connections and warned me before any black diamonds. We had so much fun chatting on the lift and connecting in a way that only happens skiing one-on-one (and over a 2 hour cabin lunch break...). At one point we skied into a parking lot off a hidden side of the mountain as I fed Jack between ski layers and Jillian hung in the trunk manually pumping for Rosie. Sigh. Skiing & Mom Life.

Baby Cousins! Things to note: Jack slept in the closet, Rosie almost crawled her way down the stairs, they shared solids, and are on their way to being besties

On the Girls Cabin Day, we chatted Wedding with Lauren, grabbed hot chocolate in Breck, and strolled the strip. I speak for Jillian when I say that Lauren completes us! She is easygoing, fun-loving, quick-witted, and always well-intentioned. She is the sister we have been waiting for and trips like these bring this truth to the forefront even clearer. She is the perfect addition to our fam and we can't wait for her to be a Goldstein in June!

Our evenings were full of laughter, games, and delicious food. Michael and Jillian cooked the first night, we cooked the second, and Lauren/D the third. We relaxed by the fire. We did family facemasks and played Sequence.

Needless to say, the Hygge was strong.

It is moments like these that bring about a deep, guttural thankfulness for my family. I recognize that not everyone has sibling friends. We are bonded in a way that is unique - it is a true testament to the work of God in our lives the way we are united together, enjoy one another, and are able to peacefully (most times...) speak into each other's lives.

Jack slept in our arms on the plane because the flight was during his bedtime. We didn't hate it.

The past six months have hosted more change than I have ever faced in my entire life. It has caused me to enter into a whole new rhythm, perspective, identity, and routine. We cleaned out our garage this past weekend, and I stumbled upon our Pro/Con list for buying and renovating our home vs staying in North Park. Looking back, I'm proud of our courage to step into unknowns - a new neighborhood, homeownership - in the midst of even more unknowns - having a baby and quitting my job. Us Kniselys thrive on a good routine - we love the familiar smell of coffee programmed to drift through our home in the morning, we like our fireside wine following a series of shows at night - we enjoy beach mornings on Saturdays and frequenting our favorite craft coffee scenes. We like what's familiar because it makes us feel known and safe.

At the same time, one of the things that drew me to Ben when I first met him was his love for adventure and getting out of the safety zone that's so easy for hibernation. I've never met anyone who's traveled more than Ben - he thrives on new experiences and risky undertakings in a way that is atypical for an Enneagram Type Six ;) In this way, we are both a mixture of risk and safety; adventure and comfort. It was our bifurcated selves at war in our decision to move; and I'm grateful we let our precarious sides come out to play.

Since moving to Clairemont, my whole world has shifted. Coming from a life in downtown Chicago for five years, my initial move to downtown San Diego felt like a culture shock. Almost instantaneously it seemed quieter, sleepier, and slower paced. It was a nice break from the bustle of Chicago streets and I remember taking a deep refreshing breath of the everyday beauty that SD so naturally boasts and the healthier lifestyle found in this sunshine and avocado state. Living in Banker's Hill then North Park gave me a dose of "city life" without actually feeling the stress of the city. All this to say, I could never expected what it would be like to move to Clairemont. Even though it is still considered San Diego proper, it seems like a whole different world. I've already mentioned my loathing for the sounds of trash cans coming out Tuesday night for Wednesday Trash Day - but can I double underline that please?! I didn't initially realize that my move to San Diego ushered in a natural progression of drifting away from city life; but I now find myself in this cozy little corner of San Diego living in stark contrast to my city days.

I am learning to settle in and enjoy it. While I love routine, my creativity and inspiration in life thrive on new experiences. A slow depression creeps in when I can't seem to occupy my time with new things and it makes me feel stuck. So I have been doing my best to create new within the familiar and - as my blog title states - "extraordinary within the ordinary."

I often find myself returning to the message of the Camino when I want to escape the everyday-ness of life. The true Camino starts when you return home. The discipline of any travel adventure is integrating the new experiences, the learned outcomes, the shared memories into your experiences of day-to-day life back where you live. Because life is not a constant vacation (though it can come close here in CA!) - real life is alarm clocks and brushing teeth and making breakfast and going to work. My challenge now is to accept this place that I live while I try to integrate my city-self here.

It all stems from Gratitude. Every positive experience of my life, every affirmation of myself has stemmed from an overarching thankfulness and discipline to see the Good instead of focusing on the Lack. It comes from a daily Thank-You for the things I have, the life I live, and the people that surround me. When I can muster up a heart of thanks - even when it feels more like a discipline and less like an outpouring of truth - it is then that I can have a new perspective on what I do each day. There is always God to be found; there is always truth to wrestle with and discover. There is always something that could easily be overlooked - the spring breeze floating through the window, the smell of dinner on the stove, the sweet baby giggles echoing down the hall - but gratitude allows me to see these things; to notice and appreciate.

In graduate school, I had a professor who would say that each day he prays "God give me wisdom and give me gratitude." That prayer has stuck with me and I've adopted it as my practice. Wisdom & gratitude... that's where life is found.

As an Enneagram Three, I want to know that everything I do carries value. Every moment of the day is amounting to something bigger than I can see; something meaningful. As a mom, this validation is not often assured as I go about my days. I wonder if what I'm doing actually matters; if how I spend my time contributes to the greater good I seek to live.

The truth is, being a mom is not about validation or affirmation. It is not about receiving encouragement from others telling me that I'm doing a good job. I simply have to trust that I'm doing all I can to choose the best for our little Jack. And that's simply enough.

Jack's shirt made by Jess for Juliette's 1st Birthday

We love days at the park!

Tandem swinging with buddy Owen

He just learned to sit-up

Here is the Before -- we are in process of finishing our garage for a playroom!