From the Library

"Yet when the silence overtakes me, I can almost believe that a life of imagination is close at hand, and is so rich as to put all the glamor and the noise of "real life" to shame."

:: Anthony Esolen

"Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child"

[ just some light graduate school reading ]

page 216

Diana Mini film :: Fall Explorations with Mikey :: 2013

The ironic nature of my grad school life right now is that I am writing a paper on the neurology  of imagination as I sit under the LED lights of an enclosed study room box in front of a lit up screen slowly decaying my corneas. It seems contrary to my topic of research as I find myself so utterly void of imagination as creativity is buried in mounds of research and stacks upon stacks of books. These next few weeks are the last of the semester, but the more I read about imagination, the more I want to set my soul free from this library hole and gallivant upon summer shores. I know that time will be here quick, but my vision is only cast as far as tonight… (until midnight in the library...) which inevitably pushes "the end" forever away.

True Life: My dad came and visited me at Wheaton and took this photo of me at Buswell library.
Quintessential grad life right here folks.

As a child, I disappeared into the simplistic peaceful world of Laura Ingalls Wilder.
When I stumbled upon this quote mid-research regarding rest and solitude, I now understand why:

"Laura Ingalls Wilder looked back upon her childhood spent in the most forbidding places: a deep forest in Minnesota, or the plains of the Dakota territory… There was little noise in that life. And so she heard things: the roar of a snow-melt swollen creek at Christmastime in Kansas, or the plaintive wailing of Pa's fiddle, as he played his favorite old songs of an evening, while Ma was sitting at her needlework, and the children were falling asleep in their beds." 

"Such a place, a home, fit for human beings, and all their endless yearnings, is a place of stillness even when the neighbors come in stamping their boots and hollering their greetings. Its days follow the rhythms of the season and of the hard and noble work to be done. Its nights grow hushed in the sounds of the great word beyond, and the greater world within, the human world, with its quiet breathing, and silent and astonishing thought."

Holding onto the promise of the end.
Finishing strong. Making it. Conquering.
{ photo from Waupaca, WI in Fall 2013 }

Le sigh.

To Walk, To Write

"The length of his walk uniformly made the length of his writing. If shut up in the house, he did not write at all."

:: Ralph Waldo Emerson :: 

{ in reference to Thoreau }

Camino de Santiago : July 2013

I have always felt an inescapable link between walking & writing. 

The space brings life to my soul 

and the steady rhythm provides inspiration 

as endless stories unfold in my mind.

I crave the open space and margins of time to write.

I live on the cusp of this season for which I long;

the time of sweet summer

to do exactly what I love.

This year, in the beauty of the Oregon landscape.

To Serve

Calm and peace of the road.

After being the recipient of endless around-the-clock, blister-popping, communal-dinner-serving, bathroom-cleaning, direction-re-routing, reflection-time-leading service of the hospitaleros [volunteer hosts] along the Camino last summer, I knew it was a role I hoped to assume someday. As the recipient of a grant through the American Pilgrims of the Camino organization, it was my privilege to join 23 other hospitalero trainees at Shrine of Our Lady of the Snows in Belleville, IL to further fuel my passion for Camino hospitality. The drive downstate provided ample opportunity to anticipate a reunion of sorts; my walk is different than others' but the common vocabulary of the Camino [albergues, compede, cerveza…] unite all who have walked this ancient route.

A sigh of delight and moment of comfort as I encountered the yellow arrow directing the way I should walk yet again.

Quiet reflection in the shrine.

The thing about walking into a room of stranger pilgrims is that you naturally assimilate into immediate friends. It's as if the Camino forges a new way of living where conversation transcends age, race, and accents; country lines are crossed and boundaries are broken down. An element of openness and non-judgement is the norm; storytelling and pilgrimage imagery are woven through descriptions of life, as goals, dreams, and passions become the force of conversation. A softness towards others emulates in compassion and interest, driving questions and insightful thoughts. We all walked the Camino in different stages in different seasons at different life points, but the shared experience provides a common pathway to understanding. And truly, you know it's going to be a good weekend when it begins with a reading from Henri Nouwen:

"Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring women and men over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines. It is not to lead our neighbor into a corner where there are no alternatives left, but to open wide a spectrum of options for choice and commitment. It is not an educated intimidation with good books, good stories and good works, but the liberation of fearful hearts so that words can find roots and bear ample fruit…"

 :: Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out

What is "the most important" aspect of the albergue?
The dormitory? Kitchen? Donativo Box?
The term "hospitalero" is derived from the sense of the albergue being a hospital.
a place of recovery, refreshment and much needed rest for pilgrims.
A good alberuge doesn't have a "most important," rather each aspect works in congruence
to provide a harmonious flow of hospitality for pilgrims.

Just seeing the map from St. Jean Pied de Port to Santiago traced out again brought me chills.
We each approached the path and marked it with our story of a Camino High and Camino Low…
An exercise to reveal personality and character through one another's stories.

In true Camino fashion, we were assigned different roles to the pilgrim communal meal.
I was Orange. Which basically means I "tested" the vino ;)

While I primarily anticipated a fixed training program of First Aid and bedbug prevention, what I found instead was an intensive focus on the attitude of a hospitalero; what it means to serve in humility and provide hospitality. Instead of logistics, we received stories; instead of how-to's, we were given "it depends." The spirit of the Camino was instantly recreated in three short days so that when it came time to leave, I cried the kind of tears that mark the end of something of true beauty that you know can never be recreated. 

The table: Pilgrim community.

By the end of the week I had 23 new friends, an official Hospitalero pin, AND a job in Portland for the summer with the role of "Community Outreach" for The Camino Documentary! Being trained as hospitalero alongside Executive Producer Lydia B Smith was a gift… and I can't wait to connect old pilgrims and new through this incredibly heartfelt film. 

My mission-walking, Concha-shell dancing, fireball of a roommate Lil for the weekend.

Receiving my pin. I am now a hospitalera!
I cannot wait to serve and care for future pilgrims along the route!

It continues to ring true today: 

After Santiago, the Camino carries on…

It's impossible for me to remember the Camino without thinking of this dear Camino family I walked my days with.
They are in my heart forever and ever. And I miss them more and more each day.

"The paradox of hospitality is that it wants to create emptiness where strangers can enter and discover themselves as created free; free to sing their own songs, speak their own languages, dance their own dances; free also to leave and follow their own vocations. Hospitality is not a subtle invitation to adopt the life style of the host, but the gift of a chance for the guest to find his own…"

:: Henri Nouwen Reaching Out

On the Way

Joining fellow pilgrims on The Way post-Santiago this week
'Our Shrine of the Lady of the Snows'
Belleville, IL

"If perfection can be characterized only by 'reference to the wholeness of a human life' then the language of stages is far too abstract. Rather, what is required is the actual depiction of lives through which we can be imaginatively drawn into the journey by being given the means to understand and test our failures and successes. That such is the case, moreover, reflects the kind of journey that Christians are asked to undertake. For the telos of the Christian life is not a goal that is clearly known prior to the undertaking of the journey, but rather we learn better the nature of the end by being slowly transformed by the means necessary to pursue it. Thus, the only means to perceive rightly the end is by attending to the lives of those who have been and are on the way."

:: Stanley Hauerwas

[ Read from "Rewired" by: Paul N. Markham ]