I am trying my best to savor these days with Jack because I know they are fleeting. I want to soak in every little giggle and playtime and curiosity with life that Jack so naturally brings.

Yesterday he was biking down the driveway in his diaper with a bowl full of peas. Sometimes this is my life.

So often I wonder what it will be like to add in another little guy. I am so excited to see their relationship develop - though I know it will be tough for Jack at first. I can already tell he is a boy of routines and not the most flexible when it comes to change. It will be a big change for all of us, but I know we will all adapt in time! We still have 3.5 months just us, my little buddy and me, and I want to live all the adventures together we possibly can.

I read this in short essays by Mary Oliver the other day and it struck me:

"Attention is the beginning of devotion."

This has become my mantra over the past few weeks. I am challenged to discipline the focal point of my attention; wherein lies my attention my devotion will follow. My desire is for my devotion to be for God and my husband, my son, my relationships, and investing in others. It is so easy to be lazy and allow my attention to slip. I want my son to remember my full presence beside him. And I don't want to miss out on these years they say "are so short" even when they feel so long.

On Sunday, Jack and I traded church for a morning date together since Ben was gone camping. We got a coffee and treats in Little Italy then wandered down to the bayfront. The clouds gave a chill to the air and Jack was so sweet running on the boardwalk saying "ships" that I wanted the moment to last forever. Sometimes he is the hardest little guy to please, but slowly I am learning. He delights in the seemingly unnoticeable and I want to be right there delighting with him and in him. I never want to see my child as an interruption to my day; Jack is my day. He has the gentlest heart, kindest little smile (like his Dad), and loves when he makes me proud (which is pretty much doing anything).

I hope I always remember these moments with Jack. They are so dear to me.

I went for a walk by the sea
And I remembered
The vastness of who You are
And I deleted my grocery list
To type this

Year in Review: Photos

[Blogger didn't put these in order and I don't have time right now to organize them - so here's a selection of 2019 memories in review out of order!]

In May we went to Austin to celebrate Lo's bachelorette!

We lived up summer together!

September: trip to Santa Rosa wine country with my two faves

So many good morning memories together

Dec: Jack's first trip to Baja, MX

Feb: Napa trip to celebrate our 2nd anniversary

Japan with my love! 

Mornings at Waterfront Park - when all Jack could do was sit there ;)

Sunday afternoon Zoo Times!

Finding out in Sept we are pregnant with Baby Boy #2!

This little cutie!

Happy Hour at Torrey Pines

Sibsteins Ski Trip in Brek - look at baby Jack in the carrier! 

Jack's first time to Baja in December

Lauren and Daniel's wedding in June

Getting our Christmas Tree together

Santa Rosa wine country trip end of August

Daniel and Lauren's wedding! So happy for them!

Turning 33 - Brunch with my girls

Beach Days with my boys

Lauren and Daniel got engaged in Feb!

We love the Penns!

Park Days with baby Jack

Zoo Dates with my little guy

Summer Music in the Park - Jack loves watermelon!

Our squishy face

He loves the swing

A fall trip to Julian for apple orchards and pumpkins and hot cider

Finding all the Rylee & Cru finds

Ben had Summer Fridays and got off early from work - so we would do picnics at the beach 

Little Italy hangs

Mornings with our little guy

Hosting a shower for Lauren alongside Jill

Laguna Beach weekend in July 

So many visits with cousin Rosie - this was in June

The most handsome guys in my life!

JAPAN!

The year started and he was just a baby!

Gimme all the Ramen in Japan

Time together

Bumbo!

So hard to believe the year began when he was this small!

Jillian and Mikey here with Rosie for DLo's engagement in Feb

Girls trip to Austin for Lo's bachelorette party 

He started to crawl and reach for things

Girls Day in Breck - Sisters! 

Teeth!

Yard Renovation

In May for Lo's shower

Always loving lovey

Love this sister of mine! 

Afternoon park days with my guy 

The beginnings of crawling

Starting to eat some solids earlier this year

Ben's Christmas party - almost 20 weeks pregnant 

Jack's first Easter

Jack met Santa at The Pendry and didn't hate it

Home for Christmas

He was really into sweet potato at first

Christmas in the City and Jack jet lagged in the stroller 

All smiles

Our first picture in his helmet

Discovering what we need to baby proof

Progressive Dinner 2019

Lots of quality time with Grandma Mickey while we traveled

Jack and his buds at Brit's daycare

The Fourth of July ended with Jack going to sleep and fireworks on the roof

Ben's fam comes to visit in July

Jack's first birthday!

Mom got us a Zoo Membership for Jack's bday - best gift ever!

We love Mr Frosty

Jack wants to be just like Daddy

One of Jack's first buddies - Shep!

Turning 33 date at Fort Oak

Family Din Hangs the best with this crew

Snacks at the beach

Our first time traveling alone

On the airplane together

I taught Jack how to do "cheers" with popsicles in Santa Rosa

He traveled a lot this year

Visiting Rosie in Denver over Labor Day weekend

Fourth of July at the beach!

Jack loves the car

Monkeys at the zoo

He could play in the car for hours

Owen and Juj - first friends!

Visited Jenny and Andrew in Waco in Sept (right before finding out I'm pregnant!) 

Enjoying the fall in Julian

Jack loves to do anything he sees us doing - especially sweeping

Kara and Jacob's wedding in Oct

Love my Suzy girl

Fam pics by Jackie Wonders in Oct

Music in Bluebird Park in Laguna

Climbing the stairs and open mouth kisses at the park

Wineries in Escondido

Getting that perfect tree

Jack loves "Dudu"

Everyone's here for Thanksgiving!

Girl's holiday craft night at Jess's - I made my first wreath

We love Mt Etna park - we are there almost every day

Cinnamon Roll Saturday and Sunday with the Martins - 3rd year tradition!

Love my wise and intentional bestie Jen