That Girl Jess

Jessica: Day 1. Chicago doorstep.

When people ask me how I know my roommate Jessica, it's hard to give a straight answer. The conversation usually goes: "Well... she's a friend of a friend of a friend...on Facebook. Nope we didn't know each other before she moved in. I guess we had one skype conversation. Oh, well we also followed each other on Instagram. Does that count? ....I guess we just knew it was meant to be."

Craigslist bike adventure.

Chalktionary. King Kong. Flustered Jessica.

City celebrations. Guthrie's.

Jessica showed up on our doorstep after 18 hours on the road from Orlando, where she spent 3 months loving on girls, building community, and digging deeper into what the Lord had for her. On our first Welcome to the Neighborhood tour in June, Jessica shivered in the 60 degree temps and gave a startled, wide-eyed stare at the El train traveling overhead. She asked: "Where is the Lincoln Park?" and mimicked a midwestern accent (later we told her it's Minnesota). Six months ago, this San Diego lady was just a beginner in the grand city of Chicago.

Crew.

Midwest roadtrips.

lakeside with roomies.

But within only a few weeks, she was hosting friends from out-of-town, taking the train to work, and shedding off those layers of winter clothes in June. She caught the vision for our summer movie nights, invested in a craigs-listed bike, compiled a film from our camping trip, joined a gospel community at Missio Dei, found her own way to the lake, grabbed Potbelly on-the-go, planned brunches with friends, and hosted Family Dinners. So, it only made sense to us when she told us in July that she would be here longer than she intended. After all, the summer can be pretty convincing in Chicago.

Epic day. So epic.

Family Dinners. High/Lows and Ramdoms.

To be honest, I can't imagine what this season would've looked like without Jessica. She embraces everything with full speed, she lives passionately, she dedicates her life to loving people, she pursues God with her whole heart... She has a witty sense of humor, an uncanny eye for design, creativity and drive oozing from her, and a soul that cares more for others than for herself. Every day, the three of us somehow found ourselves gathered around the kitchen bar or the bathroom... and it's those moments I will miss. In so many ways, she helped link our Chicago community together and was the one that sealed friendships in this city.

Movie nights. So many.

Cookie sandwiches.

Lily.

With her upcoming leave date of Dec 1, we've been marathon-ing our before-Jessica-leaves-us bucket list. It's hard to put into words how much we will miss this dearheart. To us, she has become family... and although the Lily has seen a few roomie transitions, we can all acknowledge that once again, lily life won't be the same without a piece of our family. Once a lily, always a lily. (Cheesy?? Deal with it.) We love her and are sad to see her go.

Playing with film around the city.

Seasonal love before she's out.

Life will not be the same without you! Love you Jess.

“…the only proper thing,

but the thing which is unconditionally and inescapably demanded,

is that [we] should be thankful. 

How can anything more or different be asked of man?… “ 

:: Karl Barth

Thankful.

< 35mm film >

This Year

When people find out I'm a teacher, I'm often met with the questions: How has your year been? How are the kids?

While last year I would've responded that I love it, it's great, my class is sweet... It's only in hindsight that I can acknowledge in honesty how difficult last year really was for me. As a first year Kindergarten teacher, I was just beginning to learn the in's and out's... the tricks of the trade... the stuff that I jealously look to in teachers that have taught for 15+ years and wonder why I can't be more like them.

I now realize - in my wiser year 2 - that it's only with trial-and-error that you survive the first few years of teaching and hone the craft. Like anything else, it takes time to develop "the best ways of doing things" and giving yourself some grace to go about the motions as you grow as a professional.

This year has brought its load of challenges, but in it I am able to see the beauty with my class of eighteen wonderful little souls. They adore school, they love God, and they respect the boundaries I have established. What a blessing this year has been - doing Kindergarten for Round Two WITH an assistant is helpful, too. 

... and of course, Miss Goldstein in gear on the playground. This is teacher life.

Refocusing.

I have always loved new ideas motivating me to integrate lifestyle changes. Whether it's a race or cleanse, long-distance hike or tackling a new city, different language or hobby... I tend to get antsy if there isn't something I am working towards or wanting to challenge myself with achieving. (Hello first-born... guilty.)

So when I first heard the chatter about the Daniel Fast I was initially drawn to it as another new thing to explore and accomplish. I set out for its proposed length of 21 days... and on Day 7 I gave into a homemade dark chocolate chip oatmeal cookie (but really, how do you resist?!) and it was all downhill from there. In my feat of failure, I decided the only thing to do was read and do more research regarding this fast.

While there are so many important reasons for fasting, perhaps the one that resonates most personally with me is coming to the end of my own ability to control myself and my world, and letting God do the work. And of course - the ongoing reminder that HE is enough. I didn't make it the full length of time because self-reliance is not what it takes. I am never expected to accomplish and achieve and conquer alone... although so often I resort to self-determination and independence. I need the strength of the Holy Spirit to build me into who I want to be... I need Him to work in my heart to give me the joy, peace, patience, and self-control I try so hard to exert. That's the thing - it's never about us trying because we'll fail every time. It's about allowing God to refine me, and seeking His grace when I just simply can't.

So, here goes Round 2. And today is Day One. I have A LOT to learn. But this time I am seeking after something different - I want to root my soul deeply in Him. Like Daniel, my desire is to have His word stored up in my heart, to focus and become alive in Him, so that I can stand on His Promises in each day to come.

And before the rush of the holidays, I want to be intentional about cultivating a heart of thankfulness. I want to reduce the clutter, simplify the everyday, and believe that where He has me is good.

Thankful for: family. friends. and the kids I spend my days with.