Too often it feels like second nature to share every experience
with the entire universe via social media. It’s a natural habit – and I believe
it can be a good thing – to automatically enter the zone of “This is so good,
everyone has to know!” and then to frame the shot accordingly. However, this
mentality can also be a trap. It can tempt me to drift into my people-pleasing
zone and the desire for affirmation from friends (and strangers) that I am
living life well; the need for encouragement to push me to appreciate each
moment.
So when we left for our 19 day vacation from San Diego to
Chicago to Indiana to Paris to French Riviera to Florence to Rome… it was a
much needed time Away – fully away. We put down our phones and entered into moments
of beauty, culture, art, and the experience of the senses and smells and people
around us. Sure, there was that part of me that just so badly wanted to share our
bike ride + picnic at the Eiffel Tower or family vineyards as we drove through
Tuscany or the 6-course Michelin star restaurant in the French Riviera or our
accidental run-in with the best pistachio cream I have ever tasted as we
sampled 32 flavors at the International Gelato Festival… all the wine bars and
tiny cappuccinos and pastries and paninis and pizza in the piazzas; the moment
when Ben decided (in bed) at 10:30pm that he needed Gusto Pizza or he wouldn’t be able to sleep that night – so we
hopped out of bed to steal a moment in the street with the best pizza in
Florence amidst the rainy Ponte Vecchio with musicians tucked in corners creating
the most romantic of nights. The intimacy was built between Ben and me because
we were the only ones together experiencing these moments. As much as you can
explain or show pictures, only the two of us really know what it was like to embark
upon each new city by train, toting our black and white luggage along cobblestone
streets, and walking 20,000 steps a day. It is an experience we share with
nobody else. And it made it that much more interesting to me and special and
important to building our family identity in marriage. There was also a presence
to each moment; fully breathing it in without that strange tug to curate the
experience to make it more appealing to friends and family. Watching, waiting,
looking around, breathing deep. There was rest.
I have found that life is more full lately when lived this
way; when experienced more for gratification than affirmation. Time feels more
saturated with all the good things: the dance of rest and play; the search for
God in the simple; and the floating through of questions and thoughts and
curiosity with how the world works and what my part in all of it actually is
right here, right now.
A topic of conversation that continually rose to the surface
as we shared apertivos in energy-filled plazas and people-watched under
umbrellas overlooking the Riviera, was the aspects of Euro life that we wanted
to bring back with us to San Diego. We talked about how the reality of working
a 9-5 feels like it’s cramping our newly-developed Euro style a bit; but we
circled back to the fact that it’s more a mindset that becomes a lifestyle. In
Europe, there is no sense of hurry and rushing. There is a silent calm that
pervades even the moments of tardiness. There is also an appreciation of the
simple; a walk through the gardens for no apparent reason or a tiny coffee on
the corner with the newspaper; each of these moments brings life to the day.
I want to put down my phone and observe life before I miss
it. It’s all too good and too beautiful to be taken down by the screen. It seems
to be a daily fight and I am still learning how to do this. I had a professor
once tell me that each day he meditates on the same prayer: God, give me wisdom and give me gratitude.
I am reminded to live each day in thankfulness and that wisdom in the decisions
comes only from God.
