The past six months have hosted more change than I have ever faced in my entire life. It has caused me to enter into a whole new rhythm, perspective, identity, and routine. We cleaned out our garage this past weekend, and I stumbled upon our Pro/Con list for buying and renovating our home vs staying in North Park. Looking back, I'm proud of our courage to step into unknowns - a new neighborhood, homeownership - in the midst of even more unknowns - having a baby and quitting my job. Us Kniselys thrive on a good routine - we love the familiar smell of coffee programmed to drift through our home in the morning, we like our fireside wine following a series of shows at night - we enjoy beach mornings on Saturdays and frequenting our favorite craft coffee scenes. We like what's familiar because it makes us feel known and safe.
At the same time, one of the things that drew me to Ben when I first met him was his love for adventure and getting out of the safety zone that's so easy for hibernation. I've never met anyone who's traveled more than Ben - he thrives on new experiences and risky undertakings in a way that is atypical for an Enneagram Type Six ;) In this way, we are both a mixture of risk and safety; adventure and comfort. It was our bifurcated selves at war in our decision to move; and I'm grateful we let our precarious sides come out to play.
Since moving to Clairemont, my whole world has shifted. Coming from a life in downtown Chicago for five years, my initial move to downtown San Diego felt like a culture shock. Almost instantaneously it seemed quieter, sleepier, and slower paced. It was a nice break from the bustle of Chicago streets and I remember taking a deep refreshing breath of the everyday beauty that SD so naturally boasts and the healthier lifestyle found in this sunshine and avocado state. Living in Banker's Hill then North Park gave me a dose of "city life" without actually feeling the stress of the city. All this to say, I could never expected what it would be like to move to Clairemont. Even though it is still considered San Diego proper, it seems like a whole different world. I've already mentioned my loathing for the sounds of trash cans coming out Tuesday night for Wednesday Trash Day - but can I double underline that please?! I didn't initially realize that my move to San Diego ushered in a natural progression of drifting away from city life; but I now find myself in this cozy little corner of San Diego living in stark contrast to my city days.
I am learning to settle in and enjoy it. While I love routine, my creativity and inspiration in life thrive on new experiences. A slow depression creeps in when I can't seem to occupy my time with new things and it makes me feel stuck. So I have been doing my best to create new within the familiar and - as my blog title states - "extraordinary within the ordinary."
I often find myself returning to the message of the Camino when I want to escape the everyday-ness of life. The true Camino starts when you return home. The discipline of any travel adventure is integrating the new experiences, the learned outcomes, the shared memories into your experiences of day-to-day life back where you live. Because life is not a constant vacation (though it can come close here in CA!) - real life is alarm clocks and brushing teeth and making breakfast and going to work. My challenge now is to accept this place that I live while I try to integrate my city-self here.
It all stems from Gratitude. Every positive experience of my life, every affirmation of myself has stemmed from an overarching thankfulness and discipline to see the Good instead of focusing on the Lack. It comes from a daily Thank-You for the things I have, the life I live, and the people that surround me. When I can muster up a heart of thanks - even when it feels more like a discipline and less like an outpouring of truth - it is then that I can have a new perspective on what I do each day. There is always God to be found; there is always truth to wrestle with and discover. There is always something that could easily be overlooked - the spring breeze floating through the window, the smell of dinner on the stove, the sweet baby giggles echoing down the hall - but gratitude allows me to see these things; to notice and appreciate.
In graduate school, I had a professor who would say that each day he prays "God give me wisdom and give me gratitude." That prayer has stuck with me and I've adopted it as my practice. Wisdom & gratitude... that's where life is found.
At the same time, one of the things that drew me to Ben when I first met him was his love for adventure and getting out of the safety zone that's so easy for hibernation. I've never met anyone who's traveled more than Ben - he thrives on new experiences and risky undertakings in a way that is atypical for an Enneagram Type Six ;) In this way, we are both a mixture of risk and safety; adventure and comfort. It was our bifurcated selves at war in our decision to move; and I'm grateful we let our precarious sides come out to play.
Since moving to Clairemont, my whole world has shifted. Coming from a life in downtown Chicago for five years, my initial move to downtown San Diego felt like a culture shock. Almost instantaneously it seemed quieter, sleepier, and slower paced. It was a nice break from the bustle of Chicago streets and I remember taking a deep refreshing breath of the everyday beauty that SD so naturally boasts and the healthier lifestyle found in this sunshine and avocado state. Living in Banker's Hill then North Park gave me a dose of "city life" without actually feeling the stress of the city. All this to say, I could never expected what it would be like to move to Clairemont. Even though it is still considered San Diego proper, it seems like a whole different world. I've already mentioned my loathing for the sounds of trash cans coming out Tuesday night for Wednesday Trash Day - but can I double underline that please?! I didn't initially realize that my move to San Diego ushered in a natural progression of drifting away from city life; but I now find myself in this cozy little corner of San Diego living in stark contrast to my city days.
I am learning to settle in and enjoy it. While I love routine, my creativity and inspiration in life thrive on new experiences. A slow depression creeps in when I can't seem to occupy my time with new things and it makes me feel stuck. So I have been doing my best to create new within the familiar and - as my blog title states - "extraordinary within the ordinary."
I often find myself returning to the message of the Camino when I want to escape the everyday-ness of life. The true Camino starts when you return home. The discipline of any travel adventure is integrating the new experiences, the learned outcomes, the shared memories into your experiences of day-to-day life back where you live. Because life is not a constant vacation (though it can come close here in CA!) - real life is alarm clocks and brushing teeth and making breakfast and going to work. My challenge now is to accept this place that I live while I try to integrate my city-self here.
It all stems from Gratitude. Every positive experience of my life, every affirmation of myself has stemmed from an overarching thankfulness and discipline to see the Good instead of focusing on the Lack. It comes from a daily Thank-You for the things I have, the life I live, and the people that surround me. When I can muster up a heart of thanks - even when it feels more like a discipline and less like an outpouring of truth - it is then that I can have a new perspective on what I do each day. There is always God to be found; there is always truth to wrestle with and discover. There is always something that could easily be overlooked - the spring breeze floating through the window, the smell of dinner on the stove, the sweet baby giggles echoing down the hall - but gratitude allows me to see these things; to notice and appreciate.
In graduate school, I had a professor who would say that each day he prays "God give me wisdom and give me gratitude." That prayer has stuck with me and I've adopted it as my practice. Wisdom & gratitude... that's where life is found.
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