On March 10, 2021

A Phone Note:

Sometimes I wonder if our life has been reduced to only the most boring of things. 

To the waking up and putting to bed; the walks with the boys, crawling on the floor, meals upon meals. I wonder if all these little things actually constitute an adventure, as my soul holds memories of travels past. 

But I know that it is in fact the perspective and approach to these moments that choose adventure or not. I choose that which will satisfy or not. It is the attitude of the heart that determines the journey, not the unfolding of daily events. It is my choice. How do I want to live these days that multiply to life? Will I live grieving the crumbs I pick up, resenting the destruction of the house as soon as it becomes clean; the rattle of noise in my ear distracting me from my own thoughts? Or will I choose to be present to that which is not eternal - the growing-up of my boys and these stages where the world is a place of exploration as they discover who they are and what they will become. 

If there’s anything I hope they can say about me someday, it’s that I am here for them. I am present. To their needs, their thoughts, their workings-out of life. I want them to know they are, in fact, my life. They are not the distraction or the interruption. They are it: my grande opus; my life’s work. When I look at who they become, I will not see those dishes set aside, those phone calls unanswered, those “to-do” lists uncrossed. I will see young boys grow into men; the heart of my days, the affections of my passion, the adventure of my life. Now, here, this.