There seems to be a theme of 2017 trending to “quit
everything” and “say no” and “walk away” – I think it is the mantra of the
minimalist or a backlash from the generation of Yes. I’m reading Shauna
Niequist’s new book Present Over Perfect
– and despite the wordy chapters that spin in melodramatic circles, the only word
I’m truly hearing is No. Is it because we are a generation of extremes – all the
yes’s to all the no’s – or is it because we have dug ourselves in so far, made
ourselves so busy, that to choose life for our souls leaves no other option but
to say No…?
There are few things in life that have just happened upon
me. It is usually either a string of small decisions that point me in a
particular direction or the ways I fill increments of time throughout my day
that add up to being my life. Where our culture misses the mark right now is in
Responsibility. I want to own my actions, admit my mistakes, ask forgiveness
for my shortcomings, and steer the direction of my life. I know it is God who
ultimately provides and blesses me – and through all these things I want my
heart to overflow with thankfulness and for my life to point others to Him.
I don’t think 2017 needs to be one of these ends of the
spectrum – there is a midpoint between the Yes and the No.
Looking at the life
of Jesus, there is a place that requires sacrifice and selflessness – doing things
I don’t necessarily want to do – stretching myself and investing in those
places in life that “don’t bring me joy.” There is also a place for boundaries,
for those soul-giving moments I just know my heart needs that occur through the
No. Examining my day-to-day is probably the best place to start. They say it
takes 30 days to build a habit, so why not start now?! I have begun reading my
Kindle instead of reaching for my phone, praying in the AM before I turn to a
screen, and putting pen to paper at night instead of scrolling the feeds. If I
merely discipline myself to stop filling my margins of rest with mindless brain
decay, I remember how to be present, meditative, and reflective on this
journey. I want to grow into a more intentional human and continue to seek
after the core of who I truly desire to be.
This year, like all years, is about establishing those
rhythms of life that bring me more in sync with the Creator. Pausing by the
ocean, watching a sunset, taking a bike ride through the park. It is initially
what drew me to Ben – a partner who admires the same beauty that I do and seeks
these times of day to worship the One who reveals Himself around us. I believe
we draw this out of one another in the best of ways – and it is what makes our
team so strong. In just shy of 40 days from the wedding, this weekend we made
brunch, went for a bike ride, hung in community, ate pizza, ran some errands,
and laid on the couch in our robes until 11am. We wrote thank-you’s and watched
episodes of Sherlock and grilled burgers for dinner. At the end of the weekend,
I realized I did absolutely nothing for the wedding. But in that space, we actually
did everything for the wedding: Life with Benjamin. Genuine and gritty and
silly life. The wedding is simply the day we get to proclaim our vows and
demonstrate our new life together –in a way we have already begun and this is
where we start. Seeking rhythms together, lifting eachother up, and chasing our
dreams as a unit instead of individuals. I know it isn’t easy – we have well
discovered that (thank you pre-marital counseling ;)) – but I’ll choose the
messy and scary parts of committing my life to another before living a day
without my Benjamin.
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