Fighting for Gratitude

This morning I was reminded of how easy it is to put on a pout, talk about stress, and carry an attitude of ungratefulness. Work emails pile on, wedding checklists are never finished (or started…), family holiday plans seem tiring, the political state of the nation brings grief… but in the midst of the burden of simply being human exists a desire to cultivate a spirit of gratitude. Sure, wedding details loom on the horizon and there’s a day-to-day sense of not doing quite enough; but at the same time, how thankful I am that I get to plan a wedding! How incredible it is that God opened a door for me to a new job! The perspective I choose right now is most important.

I am reminded of the Scripture urging us to “enter His courts with Thanksgiving” and to reflect on what this means right now, in this season. To come before God in worship means a heart of gratitude; eyes that see the abundance of what I’ve been given instead of the holes for what is lacking. This time last year, my heart was heavy with deep desire for a partner. Not just any man, but a man who would see me for who I am and choose me – a man of integrity and character and consistency – a man pursuing God in honesty and transparency. This year, I go into the holiday season knowing I have found the man of my hopes and prayers and dreams in Benjamin – he is so much more than I deserve and is truly my best teammate and my best friend. He is my greatest gift; my deepest question answered; and my life feels so complete with him by my side.

Though my job brings stress; it is not the same kind of stress I endured in the classroom. God rescued me from a place where my passions were stifled and I was scrambling to get by each day. He brought me to Point Loma, where I get to help returning college students achieve their degree (as I sit in a quiet office with a cup of coffee;)). How thankful I am for this new season and new rhythm of life!

The wedding has a date, venue, musicians, and – most importantly - my man. The rest of the details are just the frill and fun of it – the details are not the event. It is a sacred time with my Benjamin, making vows that will seal our life covenant in front of our closest family and friends… This is reason for celebration-- and the anticipation and planning that goes into this event is so so sweet.

On top of all of this, God brought me to San Diego where I daily find beauty, a slower pace of life, and a day-to-day that feels more free than ever before. How could I not be thankful to live here? San Diego is basically a slice of heaven – and I will believe that until the day of true comparison! ;)

Next week, my mom comes to town, Ben and I look forward to knocking out some more homemaking tasks, and I get a few days off work to rest (hopefully). 

This time is sweet, and being with Ben makes me smile no matter what we’re doing. I cannot wait to do our first holiday season together (we might even put a tree up this weekend!) and to continue to dream and plan for our forever. God is gracious and good; not because any of us deserve it, but because it’s who He is. Remembering that is what this time of year is all about… At the end of the day, it’s all about Him!