Togetherness

My intention when I first began the Camino was to have an independent, solo, spiritual journey. I expectantly awaited quiet afternoons of writing and talking to God, combined with isolated walks listening to nature and unplugging from home. I wanted to prove to myself that I carried the strength and ability to do the Impossible and overcome the obstacles that fell in my path. I chatted with everyone on the trail, but avoided joining particular groups or ¨belonging¨ to anybody. I wanted my own journey; personal and relational in my way without the help of another to bring meaning.

And yet, it was only a week into this strong solo journey of mine, that I was struck with a hole of grief in my heart after talking to my Papa for the last time. I laid awake until sunrise as tears dropped to the earth without anybody physically there to pick up the burden and carry it with me. The presence of God was real and near, but I wasn´t aware of how my soul craved the hug of a familiar face until I headed up to my safe-haven of peace, Santander, to find solace on the beach for a day with my Chitown heart friend, Brittany. Over vino in the street, tapas unending, and a morning castle hike, we processed our lives, skyped home, and tatted ourselves with ink commemorating God´s faithfulness. She was there with me, she prayed and encouraged and supported.

It was a week later, after dropping my phone in a Spanish sewer and feeling the unconditional aid of my Camino family as they jumped from their bunks at midnight to fish for it, that I realized once again the weakness and vulnerability and sheer NEED we all carry for people. When we gave up on digging in a Rio of Mierda (look that one up...), we opened our albergue door to a starlit sky, laid on the hill, and beheld the glory of the world. In that moment, we wanted to awake everyone in the albergue and experience this miraculous sight with one another.

Because Beauty is so much more meaningful when lived together.

My love and desire for community was at its best while arriving to Santiago on my birthday. Shortly after, I was sung Happy Birthday in 10 different languages, toasted with drinks all night, showered with gifts and cards from these people I had only known for 11 days.  

The truth is: It was never meant to be a solo journey. We were made for Community... to celebrate with one another, to pick each other up in the challenges, to offer a word of loving advice, and to discover who each other are in the process. To step alongside one another either for a short time or forever. These friends have defined my Camino life... the comfort of dinners with them each night, jokes along the trail, stops at cafes, hilarious language barriers, and hammock heart talks in the afternoon is something I will forever carry with me. I love these people with a deep, wide, open heart... and THEY have defined my experience more than anything else. 

If the Camino is a representation of life in any way, it´s that life is about People.

And on our final day of walking to Finisterre - as if my weakness wasn´t entirely exposed - I had four new blisters appear, which made the last day the hardest walk of the entire journey. In the final kilometers, I took a tumble down the mountainside, wiped the blood from my knees, and argued with God screaming: ¨It´s my last day! Why is this happening now?!¨ I remembered that first day- bounding up the mountain with strength and speed. What happened?! After 32 days of walking and 800km´s later I now stumbled down the stony hillside?! I looked up to find my dear Czech friend Katrina, offering me her hand and bringing me to my feet. I will never forget her kind eyes looking into mine saying, ¨Rebecca, maybe God wants you to finish the Camino weak.¨

There was no other choice. It was clear. 

There is strength in weakness. 

There is beauty in needing people and reaching out your hands for help. 

We weren´t made to walk alone.

In those last few walking moments together before reaching Santiago de Compostela, our conversation often turned to what life looks like after this journey... Are there words to describe it? We agreed that this 5 week sacred pilgrimage, life-giving walk, grueling challenge, and eye-opening community cannot be summed up in any amount of words... no matter how beautiful or transparent or honest or heartfelt. It is a journey that takes on different forms and phases as you walk. When I look to the beginning, I remember the initial excitement with those first friends, I remember the intrigue with the the Camino lifestyle and the non-stop, photo-taking of incredible views.... and it feels like a completely different Camino from what it evolved into for me. Now I know that the Camino - just like life - is ever and only about people. Hearing their stories, investing in their life, and loving well. 

Which is exactly the Camino I will continue to walk as I return to Chicago tomorrow. I am thankful to have best friends on the other side... and excitedly await the hugs and stories to unravel in the land of Free Refills and Peanut Butter. Sigh. Tomorrow. The true Camino starts.