I have been wanting to capture the feel of the rhythm of these days, but I continue to run out of time to gather my thoughts. My days are filled with navigating tantrums of a two-year old and somehow managing to sustain an infant. They are picking up the spilled bag of frozen corn for the tenth time, convincing my toddler he does in fact need a nap, changing spit-up off my clothes once again, while also maintaining a semblance of social life outside this home that we feel so bound to these days.
We are home - we are all still home - for a time we never thought would last this long. Along with everyone else, I miss the normalcy of life and the activities we used to do. I miss Trader Joe's being our morning activity, where happy people offer samples. I miss the peace of mind to go out and have Jack touch everything without caring. I miss chatting with mom friends at the playground while Jack jumps on the bridge and asks me to sing "Apples and Bananas" in the swing. I miss events and activities and restaurants and leaving the house without a mask. It has been six months of Home, and I miss travel.
There are also moments I soak in and want to last forever. Ford's tiny squishy waking up face that bursts into a smile when he sees me. After he feeds, he puts his tiny fists in the air as if to say "I did it!" and then when I burp him, he wraps them around my neck and buries his little nose into the crease of my neck. When we say "Hi buddy!" to Jack, he repeats it back without realizing we are referring to him. Some of his favorite phrases are "Hold you, momma," "Jack do it," "Another one book" and any truck name that comes to his mind (we laugh when he says "skid steer" "excavator" and "cherry picker" - it's just too cute). Sometimes I feel that life with these boys requires the kind of energy that only superhumans possess.
On our attempted road trip this past week (another story for another time), after being awake and driving for 17 hours, once Ben and I finally got Jack sleeping in the closet and Ford at the foot of our bed - there was a sigh of relief as we both acknowledged the craziness of these days, and also laughter because who attempts a roadtrip with a newborn and a toddler?! (Ben is definitely a superhuman!)
In this moment, Jack is screaming from his crib, so I must attend to him. This is life these days. Short segments of time to regain the strength to do it all again.
You didn't use the word "love" in this post, but it's implied throughout. Those are two lucky boys.
ReplyDelete"Ford's tiny squishy waking up face." That's a good line.
ReplyDelete