My life is happening at a pace right now that I can barely keep up with - it feels like I'm swimming underwater at sea level and air is unattainable. Selling everything, packing & moving, roadtripping across the country, turning 29, signing a lease, moving into my own studio apt... Even one of these isolated events would bring a shift in thought and feeling - but all these combined brings waves of chaos. Even when change feels right, it brings its own set of challenge causing fear & doubt to rise to the surface. Was this the right decision? Is this where God wants to grow me? Is it wrong when it feels hard? The questions plague me with indecision that freezes me in even the smallest ways. (For example: Where is the nearest Post Office?! brought on a total and complete crying meltdown...)
As I write, I can hardly articulate the myriad of thoughts provoked by this new change. I guess this is why I pursue change to begin with... it brings me out of the routine of comfort to a place where emotions are charged and wondering/guessing/asking becomes the norm. I gravitate towards this and look forward to a moment where I can be still, breathe, and ask God to connect my heart to His. For today, I am stealing these last two minutes before my first day of work... I do not know what this year will bring or where it will lead... My fearful side tells me it will be useless, but my heart tells me that it will be full.
In all these things, I trust that God is Sovereign, leads my every step, and works all things together for HIS good.
Over and over and over again it is true.
As I write, I can hardly articulate the myriad of thoughts provoked by this new change. I guess this is why I pursue change to begin with... it brings me out of the routine of comfort to a place where emotions are charged and wondering/guessing/asking becomes the norm. I gravitate towards this and look forward to a moment where I can be still, breathe, and ask God to connect my heart to His. For today, I am stealing these last two minutes before my first day of work... I do not know what this year will bring or where it will lead... My fearful side tells me it will be useless, but my heart tells me that it will be full.
In all these things, I trust that God is Sovereign, leads my every step, and works all things together for HIS good.
Over and over and over again it is true.
Sounds like a grand adventure. I look forward to hearing more about the job, too -- when you have the time!
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