The past few weeks have been spirals of emotions so grand it has felt impossible to name in words... grieving the goodbye of life in Chicago, embracing a new adventure in a new city, celebrating 29, unpacking an apt, unpacking a classroom, hustling to start school, traveling to Denver, returning to SD, first full week of teaching school...
The high's and low's of Transition Time have been encountered not-so-gracefully. Tears and self-doubt have been my go-to, and grieving the life I leave behind has been all-consuming.
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| Last moments at Heritage... My second Chicago Home. |
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| BFF4L |
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| Scraps of Lily Life found whilst moving |
The lesson learned for Miss. Independent over here is that nothing is meant to be done alone. Within the first week of living in SD, all the Change conquered my soul and seemed to beat me up beyond repair. It felt like every decision was in some way Wrong and my whole being unraveled in a pool of unstoppable tears.
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| Early Morning send-off before I hit the road |
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Albert the Elephant as my companion before meeting up with Kate/Jordan
to drive Chicago --> Denver |
My sweet momma bore the burden for me with all my tear-filled phone calls, and graciously rushed to my side with a last-minute plane ticket to be my second set of hands. She worked sun-up to sun-down to pin up bulletin boards, arrange letters, cut-out laminated birthday banners and tooth charts, make Ikea runs and tire around the clock to make my Home a Home. She lit up my life with a spark that brought energy to my loneliness and rejuvenation to my spirit. Her can-do attitude allowed me to see Possibility in the bleakness and she rescued a heart that felt buried in an anxious sea of fear.
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| All the Arches at Zion National Park |
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| Bryce Canyon |
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The Bellagio
Vegas, baby! |
My New Home - Studio by the Sea - is a place of refuge, rest, peace, and safety. When I awake each day, the streams of light flow through the windows to remind me this is a place of Light. As I teach my first graders about building our house on the rock - our God, our firm foundation - I am reminded that my studio home must be founded on the Word of God in order to grow.
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Birthday Brunch with Mikey!
Candle in my biscuit :) |
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| Sibsteins of the Road trip |
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| Mumford with these guys - the best. |
I set my heart on these verses and declare them over my new space:
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deut. 31:6)
"But the Lord has become my stronghold, and my God the rock of my refuge." (Psalm 94:22)
"Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place - the Most High, who is my refuge - no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways." (Psalm 91:9-12)
"For God is not a God of confusion but of peace." (1 Cor 14:33)
He is here with me and it is my desire to seek Him in the loneliness, fear, and worry about my future. He is here. He bids me Come and Rest.
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| Studio by the Sea |
A (presumably) small group of well-taken-care-of first graders, another cute apartment, and a holiday weekend with the Pacific Ocean (and a loving brother) very, very, very nearby. I get the displacement, change, fear thing -- believe me, I get that. -- but right now it's looking pretty good to me what you've put together for yourself. I hope it's feeling that way to you, too!
ReplyDeleteI still have a library copy of Plato's "Apology" I had borrowed for those Socratic lessons we were planning to teach together in Oak Park (plans which I pretty much imagined myself and for which I assumed your cooperation and enthusiasm). Have we abandoned or just postponed those plans? :)
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