Birthday (Again).

"The old woman I shall become will be quite different from the woman I am now. Another I is beginning."

// George Sand

// read in "Traveling with Pomegranates by: Sue Monk Kidd

When my roommates told me to block out this past Sunday for a surprise birthday, I approached it with an air of hesitation and excited anticipation. I've never been good at surprises; always begging for information until it "accidentally" leaks out and performing my form of undercover sleuthing behind closed doors. I recall scouting for Christmas presents in my parents' closet and finding hidden gems for my birthday buried under their bed. Dashing down to my room, I practiced my surprised gestures and phrases until they became natural and ready to be enacted upon unwrapping. As an "Activator," I have to continually work on my levels of patience when it comes to waiting for something I want; waiting for timing or finances or the right thing to come along. 

Surrendering Sunday to the art of Surprise was only made possible by remembering the history of Lily celebrations. I was comforted by the fact that when the Lily celebrates, we really celebrate.

The most perfectly delicious fall meal

I came home to the smell of butternut squash floating through the apartment, a brand new "Day of all Days" birthday banner posted above the piano, Sweet Mandy B's cupcakes surrounded by confetti, and a beautifully wrapped gift waiting in the corner. I am continually humbled and amazed by these two women I live beside... How do they love me so well?!

And what if we always waited a month after our birthday to celebrate?! As a new believer in the tradition of the Belated Birthday party, I have been awakened to the wave of opportunities that come with celebrations in a new season. Since returning from Spain, I have had three fall celebrations, letting the crisp of fall air and crunch of leaves usher in this new year, a nice change from the heat that is characteristically August.

Everyone gets a chance to blow out the birthday candle!
Always more reasons to celebrate...

My roomies and I talked about transitions and newness; change and journey; where we've been and where we're going. We passed the birthday candle around and replaced "birthday" for "job" or "school" as Jayme and Ash blew it out. They asked me what 28 feels like and all I could reply is "adult." A new form of leaving childhood behind and embracing the maturity that comes with growing older has sparked within me. For years I have fought this reality, but now I have nothing but expectation for what lies ahead - wisdom with years and all those questions of who I will become unfolding. A new Me is emerging, not simply because of numbers in a birthday, but because the journey continues to shape me, God transforms me, and living in the tension of joy and tragedy becomes more real with more years lived. I am so thankful for this one beautiful life and the people who are in it. Inspired by the possibility and anticipating the adventure, I approach 28 with a sense of peace in the story God is writing with my life as I search the core of who He made me to be and wonder where it will lead.

The gift of a typewriter for all my Inspired Writer needs...

Welcoming in a new year multiple times has brought questions to the surface: What am I passionate about? What continues to be themes in my life? What are my gifts and how will I ask God to use them? Where will I take my master's and how will it shape what I do?

I am so grateful to have others alongside me in this process, the ones who never miss a chance to celebrate, who give to me beyond what I deserve, and encourage me to lean into the day-to-day run-ins with just how chaotic life can be. Perhaps the best thing about birthdays is that they are a reminder of the beautiful souls that fill our lives, which easily becomes the best gift of all.