I want to remember these days - these days walking around (and around) the block with Jack, playing in the yard, building forts in the garage. Ben working from home, happy hour rose on the patio, and frequently doing a "knock knock" on his door to deliver coffee.

There have been stages in this process. I fought it in the beginning - I didn't want to accept a reality I knew I eventually would have to face. Prior to quarantine, I could count on one hand the amount of days we stayed at home in the totality of Jack's life. I love home, but I am not a homebody (or at least not with a toddler!). I thrive on being out with him, exploring the world, hanging with friends, and experiencing new places through his eyes. Home feels monotonous and less exciting.

But last week, I had a perspective change. It's not what we do or the adventures that we create that make our identity - it's what I choose to see in each moment and how I remain present with it. I have become so in tune with Jack - the language he is constructing, the connections happening in his brain, the sense he is drawing from life. Because the backdrop of our life seems mostly the same, my focus has shifted to who he is growing into, and I love who he is becoming. He is filled with a contagious joy, a sensitive spirit, and a desire to receive affirmation. Lately, he loves to dance and see trucks of any sort, and make "cack-ee" (coffee) in the morning with us. These are such sweet moments to soak in - the innocence of our little Jack, the wonder and anticipation of "baby Foop" on the way, and this new identity we are finding as a family.

"The crucible of our formation is in the monotony of our daily routines." 

(Liturgy of the Ordinary, 34)

If I cannot live my daily routines with intention and care, then I will miss it. I will miss what the majority of life consists of - these small acts of worship throughout the day, these daily habits that feel meaningless, yet become the liturgy of our life.

So, here we are... still at home. Still unable to go anywhere. Still unsure how long this will last. But still living fully (or at least trying)... and still in awe of how much Jack has changed in the last few weeks and how independent he is becoming. Soon to be a Big Bro - but in a way, always my baby.

"Daily life, dishes in the sink, children that ask the same questions and want the same stories again and again and again, the doldrums of the afternoon - these things are filled with repitions. And much of the Christian life is returning over and over to the same work and same habits of worship, We must content with the same spiritual struggles again and again. The work of repentance and faith is daily and repetitive. Again and again, we repent and believe."

(Liturgy of the Ordinary, 35)