My friend Whitney reminded me that the moment of giving birth to a baby there is actually another birth taking place.
This is your own rebirth, in a word, the birth of a new identity.
Prior to having a baby, the identity of Mom is one you know you will assume. You wistfully pass through days folding all the cute tiny baby clothes and getting midnight ice-cream knowing you won't have this chance when the baby comes. You realize there are freedoms you will give up, sacrifices you will make, nights you won't ever sleep. But even in this knowing, nothing - literally nothing - can prepare you for becoming a Mom. The daily (hourly, minute-ly) decisions you will be making for the good of your child, the constant questions of figuring it out, and even the loneliness that can come with being a new mom.
I am faced with a whole new identity crisis in a way, reminiscent of my 22 year-old self wondering who I will become and what I will do with my life. In some ways the doors feel wide open, readily available to walk through and claim a whole new status. And in others, they feel shut and locked as my days are solely focused on a tiny human who can't talk back to me.
And I remember, it's this. It's my son. It's day to day to day with him. Being present to his needs, to his gifts, to his emotions. God has called me to this right now. God has chosen me to be his mom. He has entrusted this little human to us! What a gift.
I also don't want to be a mom wrapped up in my children so much so that I lose myself. I want to stand on my passions, my motivations, and the gifts I can bring to this world. What else was I made to do? This question can be paralyzing, looming over me like a cloud. I want to know that I am contributing my time and resources to making this world better. To impacting lives. To changing other humans. This drive didn't go away with stepping into motherhood. But it seems so hard to do with another little around-the-clock dependent.
I am reminded - here, now, this. Be here with Jack. Be present now. Be in this. Raising him is changing the world. This is my new identity taking form and I can't wait to see where else it leads.
This is your own rebirth, in a word, the birth of a new identity.
Prior to having a baby, the identity of Mom is one you know you will assume. You wistfully pass through days folding all the cute tiny baby clothes and getting midnight ice-cream knowing you won't have this chance when the baby comes. You realize there are freedoms you will give up, sacrifices you will make, nights you won't ever sleep. But even in this knowing, nothing - literally nothing - can prepare you for becoming a Mom. The daily (hourly, minute-ly) decisions you will be making for the good of your child, the constant questions of figuring it out, and even the loneliness that can come with being a new mom.
I am faced with a whole new identity crisis in a way, reminiscent of my 22 year-old self wondering who I will become and what I will do with my life. In some ways the doors feel wide open, readily available to walk through and claim a whole new status. And in others, they feel shut and locked as my days are solely focused on a tiny human who can't talk back to me.
And I remember, it's this. It's my son. It's day to day to day with him. Being present to his needs, to his gifts, to his emotions. God has called me to this right now. God has chosen me to be his mom. He has entrusted this little human to us! What a gift.
I also don't want to be a mom wrapped up in my children so much so that I lose myself. I want to stand on my passions, my motivations, and the gifts I can bring to this world. What else was I made to do? This question can be paralyzing, looming over me like a cloud. I want to know that I am contributing my time and resources to making this world better. To impacting lives. To changing other humans. This drive didn't go away with stepping into motherhood. But it seems so hard to do with another little around-the-clock dependent.
I am reminded - here, now, this. Be here with Jack. Be present now. Be in this. Raising him is changing the world. This is my new identity taking form and I can't wait to see where else it leads.
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