Life feels fragile in a way because I know it is fleeting. Each morning is a reminder of the passage of time, as Jack grows another size and all my biases confirm that he just keeps getting cuter. The days and the weekends feel beautiful in their simplicity - morning giggles from Jack in between bleary-eyed coffee pours; the feeling of contentment at a day's end as the sun casts orange and purple hues scattered across canyon cliffs; Jack's sweet bathtime & bedtime moments - watching him fall asleep on the monitor as Ben and I soak in quality time with one another over a home cooked meal and a night of Netflix. Life is lived in these moments.
I will remember this season with such gratitude - every little thing Jack does seems precious in a way only a parent truly appreciates - the way he squeals with delight with the most high-pitched little noise; how he plays with my hat as if it's a toy meant just for him; his eyes growing heavy and peacefully shutting in the stroller when we go for walks; his fiery red hair receiving comments everywhere we go; his sweet cheesy smile that stretches across his face with simply one look at him; his chunky cheeks that I can't help but kiss every second of the day... It feels like this will be the rest of my life - but I know someday this little baby will be towering over me (at least if he gets his daddy's genes!) and I won't be able to snuggle him close and protect him from the world. In those days I will be getting a lot more sleep and perhaps a bit of time to myself - but I will look back and miss these day, realizing every sleepless night meant that I got to spend the day with my little baby boy, who is only a baby once.
I'm not sure how to be more present in this life; but I want to be. I want to show up with my full self to every moment and hold it in my hands with such a grip that it never leaves. I want to seek the adventure that is right in front of me; this adventure of becoming a mom, growing as a wife, and entering into a season with our little family. It is a gift.
I will remember this season with such gratitude - every little thing Jack does seems precious in a way only a parent truly appreciates - the way he squeals with delight with the most high-pitched little noise; how he plays with my hat as if it's a toy meant just for him; his eyes growing heavy and peacefully shutting in the stroller when we go for walks; his fiery red hair receiving comments everywhere we go; his sweet cheesy smile that stretches across his face with simply one look at him; his chunky cheeks that I can't help but kiss every second of the day... It feels like this will be the rest of my life - but I know someday this little baby will be towering over me (at least if he gets his daddy's genes!) and I won't be able to snuggle him close and protect him from the world. In those days I will be getting a lot more sleep and perhaps a bit of time to myself - but I will look back and miss these day, realizing every sleepless night meant that I got to spend the day with my little baby boy, who is only a baby once.
I'm not sure how to be more present in this life; but I want to be. I want to show up with my full self to every moment and hold it in my hands with such a grip that it never leaves. I want to seek the adventure that is right in front of me; this adventure of becoming a mom, growing as a wife, and entering into a season with our little family. It is a gift.
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